Underground

I'm writing to you this time from an inky-black hole in the ground. Well, to be more accurate, it's a tunnel. Okay, a SYSTEM of tunnels - a dark, dank, rocky labyrinth of blackness underground.

What am I doing down here? I can't tell you, it's classified. That's not the important part, anyhow. The important thing to remember is that I WILL get out! If I can fly a fighter jet through downtown Chicago while blindfolded, I can CERTAINLY handle a simple little underground maze! Unless my flashlight goes out.

Well, my flashlight just went out. I considered building new batteries out of the stuff in my pack, and I also thought about constructing an alternate light source. But really, it's just easier to blast my flamethrower every few feet. I don't know why people make fun of me for always bringing it on every mission - it's darn useful!

I found the rest of my team. Their bodies cushioned my fall when I fell down the same sudden drop that they did. Agent Stevens was still alive, and he didn't much care for being landed on. He was grumbling the whole time as he collected everything flammable to make a bonfire for me to see by. I didn't tell him I'd gathered up a bunch of spare batteries and flashlights already - I needed something to keep him busy while I made a grappeling hook and launcher out of a mess kit and Agent Greely's suspenders.

Well, we're back in the main tunnel now. Stevens has managed to smack practically every stalactite with his face. I finally gave him a flashlight, just so I could concentrate without the constant sound of {{SMACK!!}} "OW!" About then is when the tunnel caved in.

Okay, found another tunnel. Stevens lost his flashlight in the cave-in, so he's back to smacking into things. He asked if he could just walk really close behind me, but the guy smells kind of funny, so I told him he was rear-guard. Looks like there's a larger area up ahead - good place to break for lunch.

Stevens apparently didn't pay attention in the academy when they were telling us how to use our mess kits. Either that, or I ended up with an advanced course somehow. He just opened everything up and started eating it. I chose each package carefully, built a small fire, added a few things I brought along myself, and ended up with some fabulous stuffed chicken breasts over rice. I think Stevens had beans. Sure smells like it.

Made a major break-through! I heard a rumbling noise, and began moving towards it. Stevens thought it was another cave-in, and was about to run screaming the other direction before I grabbed him. It turned out to be an underground river! I remembered seeing a river flowing out of a cave on our way up the mountain. A quick look at my compass reveals - it's broken. Well, how many underground rivers can there be around here, anyway? I strapped on a re-breather, shoved one onto Stevens, tossed him into the rushing water, then jumped in after him.

You've never HEARD such whining! You'd think he'd be GRATEFUL that I got him out of the tunnels under the mountain, but NO! All I get from Stevens is "My leg hurts" and "I think it's broken" and "I'm bleeding". I ignored him for a while and looked at the magnificent scenery around us. It was daylight again, and the river was rushing along in front of a beautiful mountain forest. The waterfall we'd just fallen over was particularly lovely.

So, I've got "the item" we came for in my pack, two of us made it out alive, the sun is shining, and it's a beautiful day! I guess things went as well as could be expected. I think we'll lay in the sun on these rocks, and dry out a bit before heading back to the drop point.

Until next time.......